jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
