We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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