i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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