That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
