Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
FUCK WHALES
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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