I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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