Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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