You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
