I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this will be a night to untag.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
