he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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