When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
