Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
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As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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