question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
