thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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