I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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