They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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