a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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