You work out of a Hotel?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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