tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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