"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
