Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
