i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
