im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
