Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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