so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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