Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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