The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
