Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
