There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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