We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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