oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
