just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
