You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
