im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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