i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
