I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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