thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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