Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
