I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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