That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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