I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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