Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
