I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
