It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
