overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
