He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize