CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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