question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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