There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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