Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's always time for handjobs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
