Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
