You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
