Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
where are you?
Hypothermia
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
