he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
