Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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