I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
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She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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