I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
