is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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