Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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