i just had sex bonerless
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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